ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize