this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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