I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
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Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
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You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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