Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize