Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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