the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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