Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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