Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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