So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize