I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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