your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
where are my eyebrows?
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