How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
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Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
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All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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