i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize