I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize