Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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