Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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