i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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