When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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