thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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