we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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