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Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
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