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I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
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