From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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