He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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