the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
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After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
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I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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