So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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