nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize