these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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