I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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