that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize