the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize