Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
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I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
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He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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