He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
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I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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