I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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