I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I take back everything I said about communal showers
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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