I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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