I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
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Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
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I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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