my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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