feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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