Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize