census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize