been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize