Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize