it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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