I looked at my own cervix.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
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I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
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I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize