I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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