No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
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I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
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First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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