So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Randomize