ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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