Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
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she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
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nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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